Tits and Totes

Got your attention, didn't I?   Well, I did it on purpose, because I wanted to ask the age-old question:  Do you have any wine in that purse?

Here's the thing.  I was lucky enough to attend Sunday Supper at Lucques two Sundays in a row.  (No, I have no idea how I generated so much good karma in the space of a week -- usually takes me at least a couple of months. Years, even.)  The second Sunday was even their fabled RibFest, for which you have to achieve reservations weeks in advance.  Let me tell you, the chow was good.  The ribs -- beef, pork and lamb -- were perfectly seasoned, perfectly cooked, the sauce perfectly spicy.  But it was the side dishes that stole the show.  Corn on the cob, cole slaw, Wonderbread (yes, Wonderbread -- have you ever made a rib sandwich with Wonderbread? awesome), cornbread.  And collard greens.  Now, I'm from the South, and even though I ate collards at least once a week while I was growing up, these were still the best collard greens I've ever tasted.  Please don't tell my grandmother. 

But here's the other thing:  the joint was packed, and most people brought their own wine.  Now, as I've alluded previously, Lucques has a fantastic wine list.  But it's also a bit spendy.  And though Sunday Suppers are a relative bargain at $45 a head, a bottle of wine can quickly bust your budget. 

Lesley, one of my dining companions, is a bit of a tastemaker in the food world here in LA.  And she has a great collection of wine.  "I got out some really good stuff," she said "I've been saving it for the right occasion."  "What for?" I asked, jokingly, "Didn't you see Sideways?"  "I meant to bring it," she said, "But there was so much going on, I forgot."

So, back to my question, or the second half of the question:  Why are the guys so much better at the BYO thing when it comes to restaurants?   Is it because they like to collect, and show off what they collect?  (See Hefner, Hugh).  It certainly isn't because they've got the bags -- we chicks have got a lock on those things.  And lately, the bigger they are, and the bigger the locks they sport, the better they seem to be.  (See Chloe, Overpriced Purses by). 

So, I'm challenging the fashion world to come up with a bag that's suitable for those of us sporting tits to tote some wine.  I've found a few chic Italian-looking items on various websites:  the Cluster (yes!) Wine Tote, the cute but unfortunately-named Murge Horizontal Pink, the Laguiole Wine Valise, which actually sounds like a disease (yes, I know Laguiole makes fantastic knives.  I've used a few, sometimes on things I won't mention).  But I'm talking haute couture here.  I want a bag with a big old Hermès label on it, from which I can produce a fierce bottle of 2005 Clos du Papes Châteauneuf du Pape and reduce the room to silence.  ("Look at that bag!"  "Look at that wine!")

Tom Ford, are you listening?  Get busy, boy.  You might want one of these babies yourself, tits or no tits.

The wine, you ask?  Oh, we had a bottle of 2006 Lang & Reed Cabernet Franc.  Serviceable, but not quite up to the power of the ribs, although we certainly could have given it a very dramatic entrance if we had yanked it out of a big, red, lock-encrusted handbag.   

Comments

[Tasting Notes]

Motherfrickin' awesome post, AwGee

[Angela Wilson Gyetvan]

Thanks for the props, ps. Now tell me, what are you toting in your wine bag?